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A Groom's Survival Guide To...

After The Honeymoon

by Rusty Fischer, author of SUPERGROOM: 101 Ways to be the Most Romantic Groom EVER!

Don't let the popular phrase "The honeymoon is over" apply to you! Although your suntan may be fading, don't let your romance seep away as well. Simply follow these final ten tips to keep the honeymoon going for "as long as you both shall live!"

You're "Oil" That!

Bring back a little of that honeymoon feeling when you turn down the lights, light a few candles, cue up a steel drum or reggae CD, and slather your new bride down with a little, or a lot, of coconut oil. Give her a relaxing massage full of the scent of the islands, or your honeymoon destination of choice, and relive your romantic vacation in paradise all over again -- even if it is only Wednesday!

Join the Gymboree

Chances are you'll be suffering from two forms of post-honeymoon depression when you get back home: 1.) A few extra pounds from all that rich, honeymoon food (see # 88 above) and 2.) A lack of togetherness brought on by being thrown right back into the daily grind.

Solve both problems at once when you find a local gym and join -- together! You don't have to wear matching leotards or headbands, but visiting the gym together a few nights a week and once on the weekend is a great way to stay in shape, not to mention stay together, after those crucial first few weeks of post-honeymoon depression hit!

Surprise!

Why not cheer your burned out and blues-ed up new bride with a simple surprise party a few weekends after your wedding, not to mention your honeymoon, are over. Invite a few of the local friends and family from your wedding party and serve wedding-themed refreshments such as Jordan almonds, champagne, cooked rice, and a miniature wedding cake.

It won't take much planning, and you can all spend the evening feeding your face and pouring over the numerous photo albums you and your wife just finished filling!

Celebration Chart!

Why spend a lackluster year between the end of your honeymoon and your first-year anniversary? Find ways to celebrate each and every of the 365 days in between! After all, there will be your one week anniversary, your one month anniversary, your three month anniversary, your six month anniversary, etc. Find some special, intimate, romantic, exciting, or unique way to celebrate each and every one.

Who cares if there's no chart that says, rather officially, "paper (clips) are the gift of choice on your four month anniversary?" Thrill, surprise, and excite your new bride when you come up with your own chart to celebrate your own way.

Simply invest in a flashy piece of poster board, a ruler, and some colored markers. Write down the guideposts you'd like to celebrate, such as those anniversary points above, and designate a "gift" for each. Make them simple, easy-to-find, and definitely cheap, such as "a Slurpee for three week anniversary," "a double-feature for your two month anniversary," "sandals for your five month anniversary," etc.

Your new bride may think you're crazy, but she'll soon join you in the loony bin as you wind your way through a year full of fun parties, eventful evenings, and tacky gifts!

CRASH!

As you gradually stow your wedding gifts away, finally get the last of that birdseed out of your boxer shorts, and watch your honeymoon tan go from glowing to ghostly, comb the daily mail drop or local lifestyle section for -- someone else's wedding to attend!

If you got married during summer you'll most likely be invited to several others during the busy wedding season, and if so, attend any and all other weddings that you can. It'll ease the sense of "What do we do now?" you are both probably feeling in the wake of your own wedding, and bring a little of that romantic feeling back into the old "ball and chain."

If none of your friends, relatives, or old college chums are tying the knot after you do, scour the wedding notices in your paper or even at local churches and sneak into one, just for the heck of it. Even if you don't crash the reception, even a slight smidge of wedding ceremony could just be enough to bring you back in time to your own.

In the future, don't avoid weddings -- attend them with zeal. It's one sure way to keep the romance in a marriage -- and live happily ever after!


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