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A Groom's Survival Guide To...

The Honeymoon

by Rusty Fischer, author of SUPERGROOM: 101 Ways to be the Most Romantic Groom EVER!

You may be thinking, "How hard could it be to be romantic during your honeymoon?" And you're right. Most grooms sail through the honeymoon on nothing more than tropical drinks, steel drums, and suntan lotion. But by following the ten simple tips to follow, you'll skyrocket from simply being just another groom -- to becoming THE groom!

Picture Gallery

Though many brides make light of traveling far from home for their honeymoon, few escape the slightest twinge of homesickness now that the rush of the wedding experience is over -- and their entire family is left behind. To ease a little of that feeling, and gradually allow your new wife to adjust to a life of two, pack a family photo or two between your Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops.

Holiday photos where the whole family is present are best, but if you don't have any of those, why not spring for a Polaroid shot or two during the wedding reception and pack those along. They'll be current, fresh, and mixed with the joy and sadness that all weddings convey.

In fact, they could just be the best part of your honeymoon room!

(Besides the bed, that is ...)

Phone Home!

If your bride is like many others who have just spent most of an entire year planning, fretting over, and looking forward to her wedding, she'll likely be experiencing a post-nuptial phenomena known as "family cold turkey". After all, spending all that time with her parents, sisters, other siblings, old college chums, and distant relatives, only to suddenly be whisked away from each and every one of them to some island resort or distant destination has left her with a definite case of culture shock.

To ease her shock, not to mention your in-room phone bill, why not invest in a 30, 60, or even 120-minute phone card and present it to her after a day or two of honeymoon bliss. Give her an undivided block of time and encourage her to "phone home" to visit with family and friends before they all scatter back from whence they came.

It may put a dent in your para-sailing schedule, but the time spent on the phone will be well worth it to your new bride, who may just have been feeling a little lonelier than you imagined. Give her the time to adjust, by phone, and the rest of your honeymoon will be all the better for it!

Sexy Sleep Wear

It's tradition for the bride-to-be to receive a pile of sexy, slinky, silky sleep wear at one, or all, of her numerous bridal showers. From classy Victoria's Secret to down and dirty Frederick's of Hollywood, and everywhere in between, she'll be set for life when it comes to dressing for the bedroom.

So why should you get off scot-free? While she's tramping around the bedroom in high-heels and teddies, boas and peignoirs, you get to strut around in your regular, old jockeys and baggy boxers?

Why not spice things up a little and stay with the whole hot 'n heavy theme when you invest in a few pairs of sexy sleep wear for yourself? Be they silk boxers that hug and cling, or tiger-print thongs that really hug and cling, don't let your bride have all the Frederick's of Hollywood fun.

Sure, you'll feel like a goof. Naturally, you'll be really embarrassed. Okay, it may even hurt! But just think of what she's going through looking at you! For one, even if someone does catch you in these things, you're on your honeymoon -- you'll never see them again. For another, you can leave them behind in the room and donate them to science, for all your bride cares. She likely won't want to see you in them ever again either.

Last, but not least, just don't let her take any pictures!

Skip the Schedules

There may be such a thing as a "working vacation," but there should never be a "working honeymoon!" You may not realize it, but you only get one of these special vacations, so you need to enjoy it to its fullest. This means skipping all of your conference calls, not stopping in on a foreign or corporate office that just happens to be next to your hotel, and not checking in at the office back home -- every ten minutes!

Taking time off should be just that -- time off. There's nothing worse than rushing through a scenic tour or lush waterfall, just so you can get back to the room and make an "urgent" phone call to your boss.

For right now, and forever, your bride should be the most important person in your life. Show her that you mean just that by leaving your day planner, calendar, and schedule back home!

Souvenir Stuffer

Although she may be wedding gifted to death, there's one treat only you can give your bride. (No, we're not talking about that!) We're talking about the souvenirs from your honeymoon hideout!

So when your bride is not looking, or still wiped out from her year-long matrimonial duties, sneak into the hotel gift shop and splurge on its finest collection of local keychains, magnets, cigarette lighters, washcloths, and paperweights. You never know when you'll get the chance to return to Maui or Milwaukee, Paris or Poughkeepsie, so surprising your new bride with a collection of its finest souvenirs will go a long way toward reminding her of your sunny week or two in wedded bliss.


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